Wednesday, December 8, 2010


No. I am not pregnant.

Let's get that straight. But I almost feel like I'm a pregnant woman prepping. I do all the things expecting mothers do. I'm a little crazy. I'm completely and in no way knocked up. I don't know who this child to the right is but I love him. Just planning for when I am with child is fun and yes, can make me extremely baby hungry. I don't know if "baby hungry" is a Mormon term or something but it just means I sometimes sob myself to sleep because my womb is barren. Not to be confused with the "baby hungry" some cannibals are familiar with.

So when I say I act like a pregnant woman prepping I mean I have done all of the following:

-I've purchased and read five whole books on babies this summer. Nurture Shock, Your Best Birth, Baby Catcher, Parenthood by Proxy, and The Good Housekeeping Illustrated Book of Pregnancy & Baby Care. All of which I highly recommend.

-I've picked out all my children's names. I collect baby names. They are my hobby. I actually should just blog about baby names from now on. I belong to baby name forums. I don't have children. But names can be so interesting. I have my first two girls names locked in Deal or No Deal style. These names are concrete. A day doesn't go by without me talking about a new name or asking Aaron's opinion on such. I'll just write a blog later about that because it's my passion.

-I've research diaper prices. I don't have kids! Who does that?! I need help. I'm still in a debate whether to go with cloth or good old Costco brand. I'm so close some days when I see a really good deal on baby clothes to buy them or take people's handy-downs but I must resist.

-I've planned how I'm going to tell people I'm having a baby. Well, I know how I'm telling facebook at least. And my friends on missions. Telling my husband...I still need the perfect idea. I have time.

-I know who my midwife is going to be. I know where I'm having my baby and who's going to be there. I know how much it costs to have a baby start to finish with a midwife clinic.

-I read nursery design blogs and have sooOOooo many ideas for how I want to decorate. If I had a spare bedroom it would've been ready for a baby like six months ago. I've subscribed to a few on facebook and such and get emailed new design ideas hourly. I've even already made some art to hang on my baby's wall. One with the girl's name on it and one with a boy's name on it, pending what I'll have first. This is totally my dirty little secret so feel privileged I'm sharing it with you.

-I have been a nanny long enough to know that you don't need 80 percent of the stuff that you think you'd need. Women just want a lot of stuff and having a baby is a good excuse to get it. You don't need the adorable diaper bag. A backpack will do. (Even though diaper bags can be suuuuper cute.) You don't need the Diaper Genie. A garbage can or even just a grocery sack you take outside every night will do. That's what one family I worked for did. They didn't even have a changing table. We would just lay the baby on their bed over a puppy piddle pad. All of these money saving ideas and more, I have thought of and planned in detail.

Perhaps I should seek help.

1 comment:

  1. Ummm.... I was married the day after you and I've got two kids. What 'cha waiting for, Burrell? ;) But in all seriousness, I'm jealous you are prepared. When I got pregnant it was a big "WHAT?" and then when I had the babies it was another "WHAT?" and every day since then it's been a "WHAT?" It's nuts.

    Oh, and I love cloth diapers.

    The end.