Sunday, December 12, 2010

What the?! Can we say "What the"?

I'm pretty sure I can count all of the times in my life I've ever said a swear word. Curse words just aren't in my vocabulary. This is definitely a Mormon thing. We're supposed to keep our language clean. But take a bishop's interview out of the equation, then anything goes. Right?

And in case you were wondering...the title of this blog comes from my friend Paige McGuire's little brother Mitchell when he was not sure if "What the" was a swear word or not.

A few months ago the 10 year old girl I babysit asked if I ever swear and I said nope. I couldn't really explain why. The best thing I could think of is that people who swear just don't have a very creative vocabulary. That brings me to the subject of my sister Bethany. She's taught me that when you prick yourself with a needle it's better to scream out the most ridiculous exclamations and just make yourself laugh. Example: Once Beth slammed her fingers in a drawer and without any hesitation she yelled, "OWIE-HEADS!" Laughter ensued.


The same principal applies to road rage. If I'm mad at traffic I'd rather just say things that don't really make sense and make myself laugh to lighten the situation instead of screaming and making baby Jesus cry. Because the cars can't hear you so what difference does it make? Like the other night I was driving with Bethany and the intersection went through an entire rotation of lights without giving me a green arrow! Bull crap! So I started plotting. "Oh traffic light...I will kill you. I will kill your children. I will dance on the graves of your relatives."...and so on.

What gave me the idea to right this whole blog today was an incident from a couple nights ago. I was putting the house key into the handle and it pinched me! Now, when something is really, really painful I say a word that I made up but is still so close to swearing that it appeases my hurt. (Reader discretion is advised.)

Fudge Mucker.

But that's not what I said the other night. It could NOT have been more of an accident, honestly.

That was the second time...mhhh...Well, actually there was this day in 2008. I was working at a summer camp in Massachusetts and I got into a lot of trouble. Let me emphasis A LOT of trouble. Wow. You would've thought I had a buy one get ten free coupon for the F word.

This is a picture of the exact place in which the swears took place. The scene of the crime.

Anyway, I'd really like to hear anyone else who doesn't like swearing and their reasons. Because really, the children are the future.

1 comment:

  1. tears. of. laughter.

    i remember once i called my sister an SOB.

    ... and when i worked at pudding on the rice i said sh*t all the time. those metal pans are painful!

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