Our ward Christmas party is tomorrow night. It's a time to gather with our ward family and celebrate all the joy of the Christmas season. Unfortunately, when they asked for volunteers to perform Aaron thought it would be a good idea for us to do stand up. For Mormons.
Now I'm not saying Mormons don't like laughter. I'm sure you all have watched The Single's Ward until you've cried. Good for you. But when I do my stand up I do it in a comedy club. I'm overall pretty clean, I don't swear, or talk dirty. I might be a little offensive, but that's the joke! Comedy clubs are my jokes on my turf. Churches are God's turf. And the bishop's. And all sorts of people ready to judge me and subsequently exile me from their social circles.
What was Aaron thinking?! He's a very common sense guy! Risk vs reward, Aaron! Risk vs reward! Comedy clubs are great for telling jokes. I show up, a bunch of people I've never met laugh at the words I say, it's all dark so I can piss people off without seeing it on their faces, then they go home and I never see them again. Little risk, high reward. The reward being self-esteem for Carah.
Church folk? A group of people I've been desperately trying to befriend for the past 7 months in a foreign location far from the comfort of my common associates in a building dedicated to worship with the lights full blast and faces noticeably upset as I struggle to poke fun with people of such diverse backgrounds I'm bound to offend someone resulting in me being quarantined from further contact.
So all I can do is be on my best behavior (even though when I suggest doing my cleanest jokes, Aaron STILL says, "NOOOOOOO! You can't say that!") and pray that Mormons like lots of child abuse and drug references! No, just kidding. But really.