Sunday, February 12, 2012

Revenge Blog

If you're not familiar with the BYU Memes facebook page, I don't blame you. However if you are, then good for you. You might even be one of the 3,442 people who are a fan of it's page. Wow, quite a following! Right? They must have had a steady stream of "likes" over a series of months/years! Try 4 days. Just 4 days ago the page was started and already they have thousands of members and 1,157 original user generated photos.

I've already created a few that have become quite popular. This one currently has 77 likes in just the few hours it's been online.


You're welcome, BYU.

Problem is, they have really gotten on a high horse. If attending BYU wasn't enough, the administrators have put even more limiting restrictions on what is published on their page. For instance, let me introduce you to a new friend I made. I call her Hipster Nephite Descendent Pocahontas.



I don't mind if you don't think she's particularly funny. She just makes me happy. Happy in a little place known as my heart. The place that feels joy. Joy which is not dictated by BYU Meme police. Students who are enrolled on reduced tuition via my tithing. But sadly, of the 1,157 photos published on the page, Hipster Nephite Descendent Pocahontas was taken down by the administrators within the first five minutes of being posted. Was it offensive? No. They have an abundance of pictures of Jesus with captions. Was a connection to BYU not understandable? Like I said, they allow pictures of Jesus.

General college pictures are entirely welcomed. Like this one:


Okay, I made that one. But it was well received. I have given them so much but taken so little. They have messed with the wrong spiteful comedian.

If only one could harness BYU Memes sudden rise to popularity and reap untold comedic fortune as well as fiscal benefit. Only the most comedically inclined could create and manage their own facebook page where just the elite Mormon culture satire photos are displayed. A page where little BYU kiddies would flock eagerly as the administrator holds their precious patronage in the palm of her hand. Maybe even it's own website could be in order as advertisers line up to pay said administrator for holding the crown jewel of Mormon themed websites above all others with so much class and dignity it surpasses all previous beacons to humanity! But WHO?! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?! No possible human has the endless hours of cold, lonely nights as well as a surplus of harbored vendettas it takes to craft such a supremely prized entity!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Bad Baby

Every day I babysit for two 10 and 6 year old boys and 9 month old baby Lola. This week I had a rather funny encounter. Just one of those things that tickled me so much I was laughing all day.
We were getting out of the car after school and I got Lola's stroller out of my trunk. Six year old Aiden is a funny little devil and sat in the stroller until his butt was stuck in it. After I told him to get out and he wouldn't even try I said, "Alright! I'm just gonna dump you out then!" I then playfully picked the stroller upside down and started shaking him out of it. Aiden is underneath, laughing and trying to stay wedged in there because making my life difficult seems to amuse him. We are in the middle of an apartment parking lot when all this occurs and three older ladies come walking up and say with so much concern, "Do you need help?!" I reply saying, "Oh, no. He's just being a dork." They can then see the legs underneath of a full grown child and they say, "Ohhh! I thought there was a baby in there!"

Can you imagine..."Come on baby! Get! Out! *Shake shake shake* She's out! Babysitter of the year."

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Get Confident, Stupid!

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
-Maya Angelou

My dad regularly taught me about attitude since I was little simply by being himself. If you know my dad, you know he is happy, friendly, and always ready to help out. From the outside it looks like he, perhaps, has everything going great even if it's not. He'll have 5 cents in his pocket and still be a smiling fool. I would ask myself when I was younger, "Why does dad wake up every morning before work and clap his hands and shout, 'I'm gonna have a great day! I'm gonna have a great day!'" I knew he had little sleep, a ton of work to get done, and probably wouldn't make very much money that day. It befuddled me that he would think that this day was going to be so great when the last couple hundred weren't so super.


It took me a few years, but eventually I understood. My dad was setting apart all the negative feelings that would give a normal person daily anxiety and crafting the attitude he needed to get through the day. Shouting and proclaiming to everyone within earshot that today, in fact, is going to be a great day as soon as he woke up before any negative thoughts could creep in ensured he was in control. That that day's success was going to be determined not by what the day brought him, but by the attitude he brought to that day.

I picked up on this and I've never forgotten that circumstances do not need to dictate my attitude. Everyday I wake up early to go babysitting and there are plenty of opportunities for me to get upset. But as soon as my alarm goes off, before my brain even has time to say, "REALLY? COME ON!" I reassure myself that I'm going to have a great day. As I pull up out of bed and zombie walk to the bathroom, I remind myself of all the things that I like about my job and how good I'll feel when I'm there. Even in babysitting itself I have to not let the kids actions upset me. "Okay, there's throw up on my shirt, I got a backpack hurled at my head, no one is listening, and according to the sources of a 4 year old, I smell like poop." If I didn't have a positive attitude, I wouldn't have anything. Because really, what's the alternative? Every time I can't control a situation I'm going to scream and throw a giant fit? That's exhausting. I wouldn't think very highly of myself if I did. Not to sound like a poster in a high school hallway but, I don't judge my days on what other people do to me, rather, on how I react.

I hope this is a lesson I can teach my kids in the future. "Really? Really? I won't buy you Coco Puffs so naturally the only reaction is to collapse in a hysterical fit on the floor?" I don't know how I'll do it. Kids aren't much for self improvement and Heaven knows they love their Coco Puffs. I'll try my best to be a good example of a positive attitude for my kids, but like every young mother before me has said, they can always learn morals and values from their grandparents. I hope that when my future son stands in the cereal aisle as his child wails in his relentless affirmation that Trix are for kids I hope Jr. will confidently whisper, "I'm gonna have a great day."