Saturday, February 16, 2013

The In Between

Hi blog, it's been a while. You look good. I really like what you've done with yourself.

It's been one year since I've had anything to say on my blog. I really like writing but I pretty much keep it to myself. But now that I've been let go from two nanny jobs since July, I'm one TV marathon away from cat adoption so I's time.

I was suddenly let go from my 50 hour a week nanny job with a 14 month-old named Benny when his parents got off a daycare wait-list last week. A job I've only had since July when the Horn family with their hilarious troop of boys and insanely adorable baby Lola also quite suddenly moved down to Orange County. That's two families gone in 7 months. While I've been pretty blindsided, I get that feeling that God is preparing me. Something's coming. Pocahontas always does a better job expressing my feelings.

Measles are coming. Sorry, girl. 

Whether good or bad outcomes, it's the time we spend in between where we are and where we want to be that God works on us. Between the seemingly big events. When it appears quiet, He's still at work.

Between telling Abraham he'd have a son and making good on His promise was 40 years of refinement and substantiation. Joseph being thrown in prison for 13 years before his dream of his brothers kneeling before him manifested as he saved nations from famine and collapse.

The Israelites weren't led on the direct root to the promised land. God could have if he wanted to.

And the time between you reading this and me confirming that I have indeed been studying the Old Testament, maybe a lot, has only made you more keenly perceptive.

I think that's where God does his work. In the in between places.

In between dating and marriage. Marriage and childbirth. Job loss and new employment.

Stopping blogging and starting blogging. I can assure you, a lot of work has been done on this lil lady behind the keyboard in the past year.

Our primary purpose during a journey is to get it over with. But God is more concerned with who we're becoming, than where we're going.

Just like the Israelites needed time to be refined wandering in the desert or else they wouldn't have been sanctified properly to understand and receive God's promised land. But God has a way of preparing us now for what will be required later.

If it were up to me, I would have been married at eighteen and had hundred babies by now. All this wandering sure seems pointless in the moment, but every time I see a pregnancy test appear negative and get ready to groan I remember back to the years I thought I was so ready to be a mom.

I was a baby. Just a wee little girl mad because her dad wouldn't take off her training wheels. But as years go on I see the places I'm meant to be, the people I'm meant to help, and the lessons and foundation I'm going to need to raise those hundred babes. And not just raised well by society's standards, but by God's standards.

It's too easy to wander in the space between and lose sight of who we're meant to be. Too busy waiting for things to get better. "If only I had this, then I'd be set." "I just know if it were this way I'd never need anything again!" Being too fixated looking for deliverance when deliverance already came 2,000 years ago. He should be our rock.

I fall into the trap. It's easy to complain that things aren't the way I want them and fail to see the God who is holding up the walls of the Red Sea because I'm looking down at my toes touching the mud.

This week one of the ways I've seen God work on me while I'm in this "in between" stage is through humbling my spirit and giving me a heart for service. Yesterday I had a fulfilling day helping a woman I go to church with.

While I know this is a totally obscure head kept singing one line from Legally Blonde: The Musical.

No, not that song.  But good. It fits.

Actually it was the scene where Elle first uses her new lawyerly skills to help her friend Paulette successfully recover her beloved dog from her common-law husband's trailer.

This one...

But instead I feel like, "Service! Is this the point of service! I'm feeling kind of high!..." I think God has grown my heart a lot this year towards following Jesus Christ. Convicting me to say yes to Jesus and no to myself over and over.

God knows who is in need of help and knows whose name to place on my mind. Who is looking for help. He provides me with the time to accomplish things I wouldn't otherwise have been able to do if I were still working that 50 hours a week.

Being let go leaves a person pretty blindsided. But learning how to be used by God is more important to Him than the state of my bank account right now. It is the authenticity of my heart to choose Him over any comfort zones He is tapping into. So, no worries because it's been the "in between being single and being a mother" stage that He taught me how to be a great nanny which allows me to have full assurance....


  1. You're an amazing lady, Carahpants.

  2. Can I just say how much I loved this post? You do such a fine job at weaving the hilariousness with the spiritual I enjoyed every sentence. Your experience totally took me back to 2009 when I had freshly graduated and expected floods of jobs at my feet, you know since I had graduated and all. I went from one awful telemarketing job where I heard the F word like it was a regular adjective to the next and couldn't figure out what to do with my life. It got really bad when I started planning my day around 12:00 when "What Not to Wear" came on. My scheduled "thing" of the day. It was so tough. After realizing that I just needed to trust in God that he would provide an opportunity and relax a few months later I got a great job. I'm impressed with your attitude and I know it will work out soon.

  3. I understand about the negative pregnancy tests all too well. You give some great perspective! I needed this today :)