Friday, September 26, 2014

My Daughter, Lake

September 19th was a very good day. My beautiful and healthy baby girl was born and placed in my arms. I told her I was her Mommy and I was going to love her forever and ever. She looked up at me and said, "Cool. I'm going to sleep now."  Then we snuggled. 

From 7:35am when the first contraction came on to 7:18pm when I saw her face for the first time was the most intense yet mercifully fast and spirit filled day. I can say we were so protected from fear and doubt and let God turn my birth story into a testimony of my faith in Him and His power. I felt closer to God than I ever knew was possible. Labor is hard, but God is so real. 

I always assumed that the day my baby was finally born would be the best day of my life, tied for first place with my wedding day. But the day Lake was born and every day since have all been the best day of my life. 

Trying to put into words what I felt and went through is impossible because there simply are no words to do justice to my experience. 

I could try to tell you about Lake's birth and what contraction went where, but you won't find the story there. 

It's not told in the outward details of what pains I felt or the trouble Lake had getting oxygen or the overly chatty nurses I resisted the urge to curse at because this birth can only be explained between spirit to spirit. And those spirits are housed in my body and Lake's. 

I want to tell everyone how radically blessed and peaceful I felt every moment of labor and all the time since. I want to just type out a novel of  how much I learned and throw copies out car windows and rain them down from skyscrapers. And if you come visit me in person I will do my best to explain because I did learn so much. Repeat. I learned so much. But in truth and fairness it's not even my story. I think Lake's birth story is Lake's. 

It's the story I tell to her every day when she wakes up and stares into my eyes. It's her bedtime story when I nurse her to sleep. I tell her how hard I worked for her. How long I prayed for her. How god is love. God watched over us. How His grace was sufficient for me. And I'll teach ya all about it later, kid. I think we've got the time. *Checks watch* Oh, just eternity. That'll do.